Primal Instinct is the notion that humans are built to survive. Our intuition is based on the foundation of acquiring and maintain the essentials for survival, food, water, shelter, safety, and sex. In the end, everything we do stands on that. So, the remodel you just did, was decided on because of your primal instinct to have safe shelter. The shopping spree you went on last week. Primal Instinct. Your divorce, car, boat, dog, kid, house, investments, vacation…. everything comes down to your need to maintain your level of Primal Instinct.
If survival is the ultimate need, then are you marketing to it at every moment you get?
…and now feel bad? I remember the first time I did it. Now, in all fairness, it was totally justified. The egregious errors that were made that awful day were incredible. There was no way around that it was a major fuck up, that could have been avoided. It should have been avoided. This went deeper than mistake. It was an all out lack of obedience and follow through. Later too learn that was my problem in the first place, but I will get into that later. The anger rose so fast, I didn’t even realize the person I had become. It was ugly…..and I didn’t know another way to express the impact the situation had on me, the business, nonetheless my pocketbook. I definitely didn’t want to get labeled what I did that day. It has taken years to break that curse. What I understand now, that I didn’t know then, is management is about me, not them.
The pandemic thrust a lot of newbies in to the online, work from home frontier. I couldn’t be happier. Many leaders and employees are experiencing new fulfillment from being able to spend more time at home. It really is the only thing I thank COVID-19 for. However exciting this is, many people are now finding themselves in an unknown world, floundering trying to understand new social cues, communication strategies and response mechanisms that support building relationships electronically, just as well as stepping into their office.
A leader knows behind any growing business, is an even bigger, growing leader. Leadership development, the time and expense of it, are the truest measurements of a leader fully committed to growth and a business that can afford it. To arrive at a place that can afford you the luxury of spending time developing yourself, means you have curated an equally developed business. A business that can support the expense of its most crucial system, Leadership.
I started to find myself thinking of work, all the time. Without realizing it, I was so overly consumed with the constant chatter in my mind of what to do and when it needed to be done, I didn’t realize how much stress I had actually added to my life. However, being masked by the false sense of control I had over my schedule and time, allowed me to live in this weird, under and over committed work from home status.
It really turned into the perfectly, hard lifestyle.
Handshakes have been part of our business culture since the beginning of time. History shows, the greatest leaders in the world shaking hands to solidify partnerships, deals, trades, respect and gratitude. Johnny Cash once said that he judges peoples character based on their spirit and handshake. It is so inherently engrained in our society, it can even be used as evidence in our judicial system. They symbolize honesty, trust, and promise. It is still a key lesson taught to university grads as they entire their professional careers and hence, a lifetime of handshakes. Handshakes start and end a business relationship. Being such an entrenched part of our business culture, it makes me wonder if business will ever be the same without them.
Before the COVID crisis, life had become easy and accessible. We could go where we want, whenever we want and super-fast. With entertainment at our fingertips, stimulation was our drug. Worldwide food options and access to goods within hours of placing orders was not luxury, but a staple. People will go and pick up your takeout food from just about anywhere you want and deliver it to you. Your takeout food. Let that sink in for a moment. And even if we wanted to go pick up our own, take out food, we can hire a personal driver, in whatever luxurious mood we are in(I won’t deny I go super deluxe every once in a while), to drive us there and back. Many got into a state of complacent, consistent obligation to staying busy all the time.
Opportunity is a hard thing for many to think of right now. I get it. My businesses are being hit, just like everyone else. It is hard to think of a future when today feels so bleak. Desperation and inspiration couldn’t be more opposite. One built on fear, uncertainty, deceit and hopelessness, the other, opportunity, vision and hope. If all we are left with is one or the other, I choose inspiration any day
Being a child of the 80’s, I grew up with images of big companies, doing big things. Panty hose was still a thing, along with the JC Penny three-piece suit. Samsonite briefcases were all the rage. Corporations ridden with layers of low, middle and upper management became the corporate ladder of choice for many young professionals. Complicated workflow models were created to allow for more people to enter a business than what was usually needed. Big organizational charts were challenged by big hair. Aahh..the 80’s.
In the past, some may have called me a gypsy, a roamer, a rambling rose. Yet, with where all the roads may lead me, I don’t think the grass is any greener or the wine any sweeter, than my home away from home.
I find myself in yet another systems conversation. I probably talk about systems as much as I do my kids. People talk to me about systems all day long, such as the conversation I find myself in right now. This clients story is no different than anyone else’s, yet with such similarities, I smile, that in some way, all entrepreneurs are plagued with the same challenges. “You really mean I have to document all of that? Shouldn’t they just know how to do that. Especially when I tell them when they are hired?”
It was the middle of the day. I had one of those rare, meeting free days, where essentially I could do what I want, when I wanted. I had a list of to-do’s; related to this day and beyond that I had to choose from. I couldn’t find the clarity to do anything. Mind you it wasn’t avoidance or motivation; which I know plagues many other people out their. It truly was having a deep sense of organization, that made those precious hours the most impactful they could be. Luckily, I knew what to do.
I had looked forward to attending this workshop all year. It usually sells out. I know. I have been on the waiting list far too long. My invitation was finally here, crisp and ready to be replied to. As I scrolled over all the usual mumbo jumbo, an acronym scrolled across the bottom that stopped me, BYOD. With the continual degradation of traditional acronyms, this could mean anything. When in doubt, Google it. In 30 seconds I had my answer.
As I listen to my client, I am struck by his intelligence. It is honest, self generated, Ivy League school supported, experience worthy intelligence. It is a type of intelligence I will never hold; much of it relates to his industry and service offerings that are highly niched, degree driven and detailed orientated.
Disclaimer: I have my own intelligence; also degree, experience and organized driven.
I have an incessant habit of cleaning before the New Year. I can’t stand bringing junk and disorganization into something that feels to fresh, clean and opportunistic as a New Year. Being off for a few days over the November holiday, allowed me to start digging through piles, filing the trash bin and finding old memories. What a good feeling it is to purge the stuff I don’t need and reconnect with my past memories. This year, I came across something I hadn’t seen in many years; my resume.
I remember getting the email like it was yesterday. The neighbor emailed me, “YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE. CALL ME.” As I made the dreaded call, I got the news that no home owner wants to hear. Your rental house is on fire and the neighbors called the fire department. My husband left immediately, for what seemed like, the longest 2.5 hours ever. Waiting to hear what became of my beloved house, the one we brought home our first born to, the one I started my business in, the one that allowed us to move to our dream property on the coast, was the longest 2.5 hours of my life. When my husband called, it wasn’t to lament over the fact that the tenants blew up and then burnt down the garage. No, his words were much simpler; Do we have our papers in order?
After countless days of wondering, I finally do it. I finally garner the courage to follow up with an associate who hasn’t responded to me in 4 days. Yep, four days..which in my world is a lifetime. During that time, I have thought of her on five different occasions, pushed back our project by 3 days and halted another one coming in, unsure of what direction she wanted to take our work. I have side tracked other work and painfully watched my email, waiting….and waiting……and waiting. All she has to do is respond, answer a simple question about next steps and send it off to me. Did she get the email? Did she forget about me? Did she push send and the internet trolls ran off with my email? No one really knows, because she didn’t follow up.
What do I do? Do I succumb to the shiny object in front of me? A day of being unplugged? To forgo the accountability and tasks, meetings and outreach that was all scheduled, so strategically might I add, on this day? It would be disastrous to my business goals. I would be behind, by January 5th.
When I started as a business coach, my life did not look like it does today. I lived in the city, in a house that was in the middle of a subdivision. I worked for someone else and had never considered myself an entrepreneur. My default vision at the time was that I would continue to build a career for myself inside a good company—one that cared and took care of its employees—until I retired in my dream house, watching grandbabies run about.
Living with paranoia is crippling. Just ask my client Bob. When Bob came to me he was so paralyzed by his paranoia, that making day to day decisions created so much anxiety and fear that the business was stalling out. Marketing initiatives were not being made, hiring new employees was lagging to the point that client orders were being delayed and even deciding when to schedule a management meeting took so much time, they never happened. Employees were tip toeing around him, to try and push work forward, in fear that if Bob had to intervene, everything would come to a halt.
